I have taken to waking up early and instead of running, I have been writing. I usually wake up at 3 in the morning with inspiration, think it out until 3:45 and then tell myself that I will remember it all by the time I am done with my morning smoke and coffee break. Never happens. Today all I can remember is every single weird question that my youngest son has ever asked me. Bear with me, I need to get this out because they are running through my head like I just went through ‘Its a Small World’ in Disneyland.
Is cereal a soup? Well, shit. This is going to be at least a 30 minute conversation. What defines a soup youngest son? A soup is a liquid based substance with a solid piece of food in it. Typically it is made with stock and meat, but there are dessert soups made with cream, so yes I guess cereal is a soup.
If you were transported 400 years into the past with no money or shoes, how would you proved that you were from the future? Why do I have no shoes? I went through the portal and my shoes fell off? I have sensitive feet, I need shoes. 400 years, where does that put me? I am horrible at math. Hold on youngest son, let me get the calculator! Ok, 1620- what in the world was going on in 1620? Oh that was the year the Pilgrims landed in America. Oh honey, mom would have been condemned as a witch before I could have proved who I was.
What kind of secret society would you like to start? Now this question has kept me up many of nights. A secret society all to my self? Do you know how many Netflix shows that I have watched on secret societies? I would have a secret society dedicated to coffee and writing. We would have a secret knock and a secret room in Oxford and Harvard where magically delicious cups of coffees would appear next to our computers/writing stations. Every night, a glorious dinner would appear at a rounded table like Camelot and we would discuss our progress. Famous authors from the pass would show up at night and we would have a round table discussion on if we really did like their works or not. I think the first person would be E.A. Poe because I want to know what actually killed him.
What is one thing that you would change about yourself? I would change my bladder. Go with me on this one. I have a nervous bladder. Yes, that is a thing! Going on a 30 minute walk- need to pee 3 times before I leave. If I am going for a walk in the woods, I better take toilet paper with me because the trees make my bladder nervous. Driving a long distance? Better have a bathroom break planned for 15 minutes into the drive, because we are going to need to stop. Running? This is the reason why I have never ran in anything above a 10k outside, there is not enough porta johns along the way. I would have a bladder that does not need consistent care and attention. I would have a man’s bladder. Pee once a day, but go number 2 at least twice so that I can play on my phone uninterrupted.
Hardest question ever- If you were a doughnut, what kind of doughnut would you be? This is the question that kept me up all night last night. I do love a good old-fashion doughnut with the sweet glaze on it. It is simple, classic, and just one can fill you up. But, do I really only want to be eaten once? Wouldn’t I want to be a doughnut that you have to have at least 2 or 3, like chocolate or Bulgarian cream? Or maybe a apple fitter. An explosion of taste that you keep eating even after you know your full, you shouldn’t take another bite, but you do anyways because it is addicting! I haven’t made up my mind yet. It is only 630 in the morning and I told my youngest that I would have the answer when he woke up. I have 3 lists laid out in front of me comparing doughnuts. The old fashion is in the lead right now, but I am having a hard time committing to such a profound statement of myself. What kind of doughnut are you?